A Story of Resonance
The essence of this approach is beautifully expressed in a story told by Elizabeth Kubler Ross.
She was in charge of training psychiatrists to counsel dying people. The young doctors knew a lot about the psychodynamics of dying as well as the physical condition of the patients. However, Kubler Ross noticed that when the doctors left the room, the dying person was quite often agitated and upset.
One day she noticed that when the cleaning lady left the patient's rooms they were at peace with themselves, breathing easier, and more open to talking.
She asked the cleaning lady what she was doing. The cleaning lady, who hadn't even graduated from grade school, said she had experienced a lot of death in her family.
She said she just "felt" for the people and would just sit with them a moment while she cleaned up. Elizabeth Kubler Ross realised that her ability to "just sit" and be with a dying person was what the doctors lacked. To the dismay of her colleagues, she made the cleaning lady her assistant instructor.